A quandry
2:16 p.m. x May 07, 2006
I have a couple of friends, and there's sort of an issue between them right now. The issue is another person. Now, he hasn't cheated on her or anything like that, but he did make a comment about wanting to have this other person on the side. Then he decided to drop it when he saw how much it upset his girlfriend and just be this other person's friend. Well, I made it clear to him, via my friend/his girlfriend that I have no desire to hang out with this other person. The girl is way too young for me to want to hang out with. She's 9 years younger than I am. Even if her presence didn't induce such tension, I still wouldn't care to hang out with her. She's halfway between the ages of my daughter and I. She acts and looks like she's 12. I just have no desire to be her buddy or her babysitter. This was made clear to him. Yet, yesterday, he told this other person that it would be so great once she got to know this person, this person, and this person, and my name was in that list. I think it's a little disrespectful of him to force his teenybopper friend on me and expect me to like it. While we may be friends, I'm more of his girlfriend's friend than his and I don't owe him anything. So, why is it my responsibility to associate with this little kid? At one time, when he was told that we didn't want her as a part of the group, he told his girlfriend that we'd change our minds. She hasn't, even though the girl seems to be up their asses all the time lately, and I didn't think she would. However, I certainly am not going to even take the opportunity to try to miss her. I've met her once. She was nice enough but I come across people everyday. I talk to an average on 40 strangers on the phone at work in one normal shift. I don't miss a single one of them. Meeting someone once at a diner and sitting with them for a few hours doesn't equal out to a lifetime of yearning to be their friend.
And while I feel for my friend in all of this, and wish she didn't have to be forced to associate with this person, I have to ask myself, when did I become a part of that couple? Why do I have to maintain any sort of anything with someone that I don't trust all that much and could care less about, except that I'm certain that she's after my friend's boyfriend. Why do I get the feeling that if I want to have a social life with my friend, I am going to have to deal with this other girl? And why, after I've expressed a lack of interest in hanging out with someone, does someone who is supposed to be my friend, disrespect my wishes and opinions?
I'm on the defensive for my friend in this, and I'm also a little offended. I can't quite put a finger on what I'm trying to say, but I feel like he thinks it's his whole circle of friends' responsibility to entertain someone, just because he likes them. Not to mention, if this girl is all peaches and cream and so great to be around, why would he wish that awkwardness on her, expecting her to hang out with people that don't like her.