Better update before Andrew takes my page offline
8:24 a.m. x December 02, 2006
Not much has been happening since I last wrote. I bumped into my cousin Destinee's boyfriend's ex (turns out I work with her) and confirmed that she is definitely pregnant which means she has been boozing it up while she is knowingly pregnant. It also means that she somehow doesn't want me around her and her kid because when she started showing, she stopped coming around. I'm not dirty or dangerous and I have always managed to keep my own children safe so I don't understand her reasoning but whatever. If she keeps it up, the kid will come out deformed and be a ward of the state anyway so I don't suppose it makes much difference. I wouldn't get to see it either way. It isn't just me though. She's denying her pregnancy to our whole family, and it's bullshit because we've always bent over backwards for her. As with everyone else that has had a baby in my lifetime, the family would buy it a bunch of crap, have a baby shower, and keep the phone available in case she needed advice 24 hours a day for the next 18 years. She's going to need her family someday and then what?
Well I've decided I'm done with her and it's her loss. I'm not hurt or angry (except at what she's doing to her baby and at the way she blew my kids off) but I am confused.
Otherwise, everything is fine. I've missed way too much work lately but starting Monday, I will be fine because they're bribing us with a cleaned up attendance record to get us to pick up extra hours next week. First I left early and said I had a sick kid, but it was really me being tired. Then I left early because I had a bladder infection. Then I left early because I live in the area where we got all that snow dumped on us and I didn't want to drive across town after dark. Then I didn't go in this morning because I couldn't get my doors unlocked. I did eventually get them unlocked, but piss on it. I would have been late anyway and I need to rest up for the long week next week. I'm entitled to be an irresponsible slouch sometimes.
The older kids changed schools a couple of weeks back and now go to my elementary school. They love it. The old school failed their school report card and since I hated the school to begin with (their dad enrolled them there) I took the opportunity to put them in a better school where they won't get teased for the color of their skin or beaten up for being smart, suspended for retaliating, and where they actually have the materials for the advancement of my kids' minds.
I've definitely noticed a difference in Ronald, for sure. I think he was actually suffering from depression because of his surroundings and now he lights up when he talks about school. He just gives off a happy vibe, and he doesn't seem so bored when the subject of school comes up.
Kimberley starts school in a few months and I am kind of excited about that but kind of sad at the same time. We went through this when she started preschool too, even though it didn't last long (preschool, I mean) but my baby will be in Kindergarten. I was sad with all of them but this is the sign of one point in my life closing and another beginning, just as much as it is for her. It's another step toward the edge of th nest, another step closer to 30 for me, and it's just all happening so fast.
Not that the 30 thing bothers me. I can't wait and I want a big party when it happens. You all have a little over two years to gather up all of the over the hill 30 mugs, depends and geritol, and black roses that you can find.
Speaking of people that are about to be 30, Louie and I are fine.
I've noticed a huge positive change in him and the way he is toward me. Not that he treated me bad to begin with, but he seems closer to me somehow. Maybe it's just my imagination or he is sucking up because I bought him a bunch of Christmas presents, but it's nice, whatever it is. I doubt it's the presents since he was acting like that before that.
It's not just the way he acts but the things he says too. While they're small things, he's talked about stuff in the future that involves me. Before, it was obviously a visit at a time and we'd see how things went the next time around. Not that he ever said that but we just didn't discuss it because it was a given that he could end it at any time, and I let him think that way because as long as he had an out, he'd stay. Devious? Maybe. It's what he needed though.
Anyway, he mentioned us going to Milwaukee and getting a hotel room next summer or something when he gets vacation time so that we can go to this one bar that has a 007 theme, and then mentioned someone offering to make him a Burger King costume (I am terrified on the Burger King, to the point where I have to turn my head when he comes on tv) and that he knew I wouldn't like it. Obviously, Halloween is almost a year away. While it is something small and probably seems like nothing to everyone else, being involved with someone that commitment phobic makes something like this a huge deal.
Then we went out the other night and when I went to the bathroom, these two drunk chicks were in there and one looked at me and told me never to fuck my boss. My response was that my boss is someone I've known since I was like 8 (I was actually 10 but whatever) and that he is an incredibly sweet guy but he is crippled and I wouldn't take on that burden to get an advancement in my career. They agreed, but when I told him about it, he said "You were supposed to say you don't need to because you have this stud waiting for you at the bar." A few months ago, he would have went along with it and told me to go for it.
I know these things seem minor and would to me too, but like I said, considering the circumstances, it is a huge deal for me.
If I don't get back in here to write again for a while, I hope everyone reading this has a nice holiday season. Stay safe and have fun.