Hurry up and get to Wednesday already
10:07 p.m. x June 13, 2006
I miss Louie. I had a dream about talking to him on the phone last night and I don't even remember what the conversation was about, but it made me think about him all day. I can't wait until tomorrow night, after work. I get to go straight there and be with him until I leave for work on Thursday. It can't come fast enough. It always ends as fast as it starts and I have to wait days to see him again. I fussed at him a little bit the last couple of times we were together, over dumb stuff, and I feel really bad about it. I want all of our time together to be special and without stress. I guess part of it is paranoia. I am worried if I nag him too much, I'll lose him. I realize it's unreasonable to expect things to be perfect all of the time, and it takes a lot of energy to try to make it seem that way, but I am willing to try my best if it makes him happy. When he's happy, I'm happy.
I can't wait to curl up in his arms and go to sleep tomorrow night after hot, kinky sex. I always think to myself that I'm going to "attack" him as soon as I walk in the door, but I end up losing my nerve. Maybe I'll work on that tomorrow night. In my mind, I want to wait til the door is closed, pin him against the wall, and give him head right there. It doesn't work out as I plan it and I end up sitting on the couch instead, which is nobody's fault but my own. I know he wouldn't object.
We always have hot sex, even if it is later on in the evening, but it's never dull. He laughed the other night because out of nowhere, I told him I want him to put hot wax on my nipples. I did it to myself a few times, starting with doing it on a dare, but I've never let anyone else do it to me. Either they weren't into it, or I didn't have that much trust in them, or both, but I think I want him to. That's a big deal, even if it may not seem like it. It's a lit candle after all.
I just can't wait to be with him. I miss him like crazy, more than I usually miss him like crazy, and the next 24 hours need to fly by.
Sigh.