Joe
6:29 p.m. x 2003-09-22
I got an email from Joe. (He got internet service.) He misses me, he loves me, he was a fool, etc.
Yeah, he was a fool on many levels. He's too far away for me to even consider taking him back but it still hurts. I don't need this right now. There's just too much in my life that's falling apart at the seams to have him creep back up right now.
Why is it that after what happened, I don't see that when he contacts me? I know one of my qualities is to remember the best in people but in order to protect myself, I need to be less fucking forgiving. I know what happened and I remember it quite clearly - too clearly, but I also remember the silohette of his body when the light from the street was shining in my window. I remember his kisses. I remember how good he was with the kids. How he brought me eggs on our first "date" because he didn't know what else to bring. I remember the first time we had sex and how magical it was, especially coming from a guy. I remember all the stuff I don't want to remember.
God, this hurts!