Letter to Destinee
8:14 p.m. x January 22, 2004
This is a letter that I wrote to my cousin. This is how I am, in person, around her, except that I can't fart in a letter. Enjoy.
Des - My homeslice!!!
Hey homegirl! What's up?? HaveI ever told you how bad I suck at writing? It's not the writing, it's the sending! Ha Ha! LOL! LMAO! And all those other terms that say I'm funny. I don't have to say I'm funny though. I just am. And I repeat - Ha Ha! LOL! LMAO!
Okay, anywhoozle -what you been up to? I been up to 5'5". Naw - fo real tho - same shit, different day. There's some new stuff but I wanna keep it out of the media so I'll tell you in person. No, I didn't kill anyone or anything. I just know the walls have eyes. HI UNCLE BOB!! HOW ARE YOU? then I made this goofy smily face that I can't make here
So don't turn off the light, I don't wanna be in the dark tonight cos I can't read your mind, I need to know if what I'm doin' is right. So don't turn off the lights. So don't turn off the lights. (<- like how my writing changes at will?)
So you think you got it all worked out and what you're searching for isn't what you found. Up in the world that's on the run, a lot of hits but only a few number ones. I'm making love for fun. Are you lookin for a holiday? I'm making love for fun. Why would you do it any other way?
She be the one, she be the drug. She's gonna take you high, take your love and never get enough. She be the one. She be the bomb. Watch out here she comes. You know you're gonna get some.
Would you dance if I asked you to dance? Would you run and never look back? Would you cry if you saw me crying? Would you save my sould tonight?
There's a little Enrique to warm your day. It sure warmed mine when I saw his picture while looking up lyrics. Ha!
So yeah, the pen I have sucks n shit. I was gonna write more lyrics but my hand hurts.
Heard from the crack hoe lately? Who's she in love w/ now? Is it "4-ever?"
The other hoe is on crack now. She says she doesn't want Kyle and Colby Cheese because they're not girls. Charlie Condom only wants em because he gets food stamps. FBI is after him - DCFS is after the kids. Tabaslut is after Adrian. Isn't he like 15? Well he's her man or boy or something and they're living together in his mom's basement while Charlie Condom runs from the law for fraudulently making a bunch of cell phone accounts and running them up. He used his powers as a cell phone consultant guy to get Tabaslut's phone shut off and her bill has been paid up to date. I guess ya can be on time when you're stripping at some dive bar on 7th street for a living. Today the shiny pole, Tomorrow the corner! (That's supposed to be like when someone says "today the ____, tomorrow the world." umm yeah.)
So what's up with you? You get a job yet? How's school? How's Dad? How's Pat? How's the dog? How's the frog? (I dunno. Couldn't stop sayin' how)
Anymore news on our book? I've got about 1000 more pages to add because I was meant to be blonde - err wait. You're blonde. Nevermind. Maybe it's our eyelashes, although you have me beat on that one too. hmm. That reminds me. How did my kids get your eyelashes and I didn't? I'm jealous!
Okay, anyway, I guess I'll go. I love you cousinmeister!
<3-ya-las
Carla
and that concludes that boring look into the way I communicate with my cousin. If it wasn't in italics, it was in the letter exactly as written.