War Is Money
9:33 a.m. x 2003-03-23
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Charlie M Pussyhair. He had stolen the lunch money of a poor pair of brothers in the N. Ron family who didn't have anything at home to eat.
Charlie knew he had to find a way to get everyone's minds off of this or he'd get expelled and he liked being the bully of the school.
Suddenly he got an idea! Charlie thought about the time that Sam Cart Ladder sent a few friends into another town to beat up a bunch of people for no reason. He didn't know these people and he really didn't care about them, but he knew that this would be a perfect way to get the talk of him conning the little N Rons out of the school newspaper. In the process, everyone in the school would think he was a hero.
Charlie didn't give much thought to it. He sent all his friends to Sam's neighborhood to beat up Sam and his friends. They managed to beat up a few of his friends, and even brought some of them back to Charlie's neighborhood to keep them from hurting anyone else. Meanwhile so many people loved Charlie for this, and his wrongdoings were forgotten so he had to keep going. Nobody could find Sam so he eventually just kept a few friends on the lookout for him and decided to go to the neighborhood of Sadman Insane.
You see, Charlie's dad had told Sadman years before that he had to get rid of his toys, because they were the kind of toys that could hurt people. His dad also got onto Sadman for beating people up when they moved into his neighborhood and weren't on the same Little League team as him.
For this, Charlie decided that he'd make sure all of Sadman's toys got taken away and keep looking good too.
He sent his friends in to warn Sadman and try to find his toys but they couldn't find them. Charlie told the school that they needed to wrap themselves in plastic in case Sadman tried to hurt someone with one of toys to get back at Charlie.
Then one day, Charlie said "Sadman, you have 48 hours to give us those toys and move away or we're going to beat up your friends and everyone in your school."
Sadman didn't like this. He also liked being the bully of his school and didn't want to leave.
Instead, Charlie's friends started beating everyone up, like they had promised. Sadman started dumping out all the soda that he sold everyone, but this was okay with Charlie. He had his own soda to sell and he would make more money if Sadman didn't have any left. He could also charge more money for it and get away with it, because the kids didn't have another place to buy it.
Many kids got hurt, even those that had nothing to do with this argument. Some kids didn't even agree with it because they knew what Charlie's real intentions were, but they got hurt anyway.
In all of this, Charlie was too scared to go straight to Sadman and beat him up himself, adn it worked the other way too. It was so much easier for them both to send their friends.
I'd like to say the end here, but unfortunately this childish battle still continues.
I'm not completely anti-war. There are wars in our past that I completely understand I wouldn't object to for a second. However, when you get down to it and you examine it in simple terms, this whole thing is pretty lame.
Doesn't anyone remember how Bush and his advisors were starting to get named in Enron? Then all of a sudden the news switched to 9/11 and going to Afghanistan. Enron was forgotten, except by those poor people that lost their entire life savings and had no way to recover it.
I'm not saying 9/11 was a good thing at all. Of course it wasn't, but I don't think Bush ever gave two shits and a damn about it, as long as he could look good.
Then he decides to go into Iraq, to "get rid of biological warfare". Yeah, I'm not fond of getting blown to bits, disintegrated, or dying of some unknown disease, but Bush doesn't really give two shits about this either. He's mad because Daddy lost. If he cared, he'd come up with something better than plastic and duct tape. I still have to agree with my mom's boyfriend. He must have stock in 3-M.
President Bush, if you care so much, where's MY small pox vaccine?
If two people are in a bar and get into a fight, they take it outside... or they stay there and hit each other with beer bottles. When a world leader gets mad at another one, they send in other people to do their dirty work.
Then there's the oil. Does anyone know how much interest Dubya has in American oil? Why should he care if Saddam burns all the oil fields up? He makes more money and nobody thinks of it that way, so he comes out smelling like a rose once again.
I do love my country. My country is made of me, you, my friends, my family, the people who grow my food, the people who deliver it to the people that sell it to me, the people that make out our checks so we can eat, you get my drift. I don't like Dubya, but as far as I'm concerned, he doesn't make my country. He's only one wimp that can't fight for himself. The land I'm on doesn't make my country, although the people that make my country all live on it.
My mom had a boyfriend years ago, before Darrell, that told me "War is money."