Nerves
8:47 a.m. x 2003-04-04
Today I have to take my mom to get her eyes dialated and looked at and whatever at the eye doctor. She shouldn't need new glasses so we should be out of there by 4, I hope. If all goes well and we get back at a reasonable hour, I'm going to go meet Joe's sister. I'm more nervous about that than I was about him coming over the first time. What if she thinks I'm a twit or I'm just looking for a daddy for my kids? I know I'm not a genius and I get spacey when I'm nervous but as far as looking for a daddy, that is so NOT me. Yes, he has to get along with the kids, and they have to like him, or it isn't going to go anywhere, but that's not what it boils down to. If the shoe was on the other foot, that's what my family would say about him. I know that's awful but I can't help but have that thought process because of them. Then, when the time comes, my mom will find something wrong with him. Not that it ever stopped me, mind you. I'm like Lisa Marie Presley, I guess. I rebel. When I found the guy my mom liked the least, I went out and married him. The one guy that my mom did like got hurt so bad by me that I feel ashamed, even though its been like 9 years since I was with him. So it won't make a difference but I still don't want to deal with her wrinkling her nose at his family or some shit. Okay, and this is silly, but I went out with a Joe once a long time ago, and he ended up laying his head in my dad's lap and hitting on him. I don't have the best luck anyway, but the whole name thing kinda bothers me. I KNOW its stupid.
Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent. Its been a long time since I met a guy's family though so does anyone have any tips? What if she goes through hella trouble and I can't show up? Then she's gonna hate me for sure. I know I'd hate someone for doing that to me.
Sillers where are you? I need you to tell me to shut up because I worry to much!