Tim
12:46 p.m. x 2003-07-18
I had a dream about Tim B. last night. I don't know why because when I'm awake I view him as a total fucker but we were having hella dirty sex last night when I was asleep.
I went out with this guy when I was 16. He had a girlfriend before I went out with him, they broke up, she announced she was pregnant, and somewhere in there I was sharing him with Toni (not sexually but just as a boyfriend). So, in the end he decided that I was going to be his girlfriend since Toni had a boyfriend and she was pregnant with that guy's baby. It just didn't seem right to him to interfere so he picked me. We had sex in a field, then later had sex on the tennis courts at my high school (two different occasions), and we saw each other at school. Even though he only lived a little way away he wasn't allowed to go out during the week and was only allowed to hang out with friends on Saturday nights. He'd spend the night in the trailer park and I'd go see him. I wasn't in the trailer park but it was easy for me to get there. It was the cool thing to do, to go down there and hang out and party. I got roughly 4-5 boyfriends from hanging out down there.
Anyway, this one was special. I don't know why, really. He wasn't any good in bed at all. He was too small for me to feel it and he didn't last long enough for me to get anything out of it. Still, he drove something inside of me crazy. Maybe it was the excitement of having sex on the tennis court. Who knows?
So, after like a month, we broke up because he felt it was better to be with the pregnant ex, but later it turned out that the baby wasn't his. Some time after that, he went out with Toni when Pat left her high and dry when she was pregnant, mostly because he was sickened that she didn't shave. Pat deserves to sit in prison, now that I think about it. Bastard.
Okay, anyhow, Tim and Toni went out for a while after that. Shortly after I concieved Brittany (I must have been about 8 weeks along) Tim was still hanging out down there and I was getting ready to move in. I moved in about a week after, with Ron. (That means nothing. I'm just basing the time)
Everyone knew I was screwing Tim except Ron and he will never know, even though it shouldn't matter. I'm just not going to tell him. We weren't married yet and I was only a little over 17, plus my pregnancy hormones were driving me over the edge and Ron wasn't putting out.
I remember doing it to Best Shots, the Pat Benatar CD. I think that was the only time Tim showed any hope for being good in bed because of the foreplay. That actual sex was worthless. I also remember not wanting Tabatha to move in because I wasn't done with Tim yet. Maybe I was onto something without knowing it there.
So, jump ahead to that November. We had remained friends during that time but nothing happened and he was involved with Toni still. They were living together. Somehow he snuck over on lunch or something and we had sex, but this was after we had made arrangements a few days earlier since he wanted to kiss me and couldn't.
So, we only did it once and we decided it was best to stop. He decided, actually. Without notice. He got what he wanted and goodbye Tim!
4 Years ago, I was separated from Ron and decided it was my turn. Tim called me up and he was drunk and he came over. We ended up kissing in the kitchen, but then I decided it was best to not continue.. after all, I had a boyfriend anyway. Tim was a big, big hang up for me though.
Shortly after that, we did have sex again, but this time it was me that didn't call him. For one thing, I was getting back at him. For another, when he got older, he got fuckin ugly!