Too fat!?
1:49 p.m. x February 21, 2004
My sock was loose and I slid down the steps on my back this morning. What a way to start the day!
I cried because it hurt so bad that I didn't know what else to do. Just sat there like a baby, and cried into the floor of the middle landing of the steps. I'm sure glad that my steps are L-shaped. It saved me sliding down 10 or so more steps.
My back is going to have a nice bruise on it. That's alright, it'll match the bruise on my leg from when Brittany's headboard fell over on it as I was moving her bed to the other room.
Did I ever mention that I'm a klutz?
In other news, Brittany told me she was fat last night. I know Amy had this problem with her daughter before, too. What a horrible society we live in if these little girls are so concerned with their weight and especially when they're not the least bit overweight.
I showed her what she called fat on my body and I'm pretty sure that she was satisfied with that. Still though, so what if she were fat? Being overweight doesn't make you a bad person. There a lot of very pretty women that are overweight by the standards of the media. Most guys would rather have someone with a little padding and besides, it's normal. We aren't all built like supermodels. I happen to be too thin and not by choice and I hate it, and would rather be a little heavier. Not because I care what people think so much as because if I were to get sick, I have no weight to fall back on. Now that I can eat without pain, I should be fixing that really soon.
Anyway, you've all seen pictures of my kids. None of them are fat. The younger two are stocky, mostly because of their bones, but definitely not fat! Brittany is built just like me. Small and petite at birth, and staying that way forever.
By total coincidence, I have been reading a lot of stuff about anorexia/bullemia lately and if I didn't know it before, I know now that it isn't about the body fat. Not really. It's a trick your brain pulls on you because of low self-esteem and depression relating to other things in life. I'm not saying that my daughter has an eating disorder yet but when I think about it, I can't figure out where her self-esteem would be the least bit low. I've told her every day of her life that she's beautiful and smart and funny and a genius, and that I love her very much. And in that order, too. I've never allowed the word stupid to be used toward my kids, not even amongst themselves, and if anyone said they were ugly, it would be a lie. I just don't get it.
The only thing I can think of, other than her having a skinny-mini mom (which I would change if I could), is that the tv is influencing her. I don't know what she goes through in school but she doesn't seem to have any problems with the kids, and seems generally happy.
The only other thing left is the tv. In retrospect, even Kim-possible is underweight. I know this sounds mean, and Brandon even told me it was, but if I have to, I'll take the tv out of the living room. It sure beats having my kids having unrealistic images of themselves.