travel tales
1:01 a.m. x 2003-11-09
Confessions of a travel agent!!!!
The following are actual stories provided by a retiring Washington, D.C.
travel agent of 30+ years:
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I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat on the airplane
so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
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I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information. She
interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is
in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained,
"Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ...(click).
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A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did.
I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was
expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando
is in the middle of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very
thin state!!!"
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I got a call from a Lawmakers Wife who asked, "Is it possible to see
England from Canada?"
I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
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A Senator wanted to rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation,
I noticed they only 1-hour lay-over in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was
a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
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An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at
8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she
could not understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
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A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on
my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude!"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was
actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is
(FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
================
A Senator's Aide called in inquiring about a trip package to Hawaii. After
going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
================
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How
do I know which plane to get on?"
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which h e replied, "I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."
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A Lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL.
Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?"
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said, "Yeah, whatever!!"
================
A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in
order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded
him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never
had to have one of those."
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
Why should I have a Visa when they have always accepted my American
Express!"
================
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from
Chicago to Rhino, New York"
The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's
the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've
looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check
your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You
don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal", she admitted!!!
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This might explain why our Government is in the shape it is in!!