Ready to be confused?
7:01 a.m. x 2003-11-24
I called my mom last night. Well at first she wasn't home. Seems she had to work 12 hours and didn't know it til she got there. Anyway, I tell her about Shawn and she goes "Was he drunk?"
Ugh! No, he wasn't drunk. For starters, Papa Ice won't allow anyone to drink while he's hunting because he doesn't drink and he's not one for getting shot by a drunk hunter.
For another thing, Shawn has been going through AA and a bunch of other stuff to try to get custody of his son, so he hasn't been drinking. I don't think he'd mind so much if his son's mom had custody (in a normal situation) but she flipped her lid and left him for another man, the other man is supposedly a child molester (she worked at a mental disablity place and brought the guy home from there), and since Shawn had one night where he went out and got drunk, her overprotective parents stepped in and took *son* from both of them. Don't ask me how it's possible. I just know it happened. (I'm being limited on names because they all have computers)
So, no Ma. He wasn't drunk. I've driven those roads myself at various times in the last 8 years and the turns are very sharp. ex-mom-in-law's one husband lost his mistress (maybe someday I'll recount just how fucked up the family really is) in a car accident on one and where she died, it isn't hilly, she wasn't drunk, it was just one of many, many sharp turns.
Oh what the heck, it'd make a good diary entry and you're bound to walk away confused but I bet you'll understand when I mention someone's wife and say they're not related next time. ha!
Ron was conceived in the back of a car during a one night stand with a telephone line repairman. His mom was married at the time but supposedly going through a divorce. (I wasn't born yet so I don't know)
Since she wasn't divorced yet, they made her give "the baby" (Ron) her husband's last name, which would be... we'll say "W".
After they split up, she hooked up with another guy with the last name of "H" (if you know me outside of this diary, you know what it is) and Ron took up that name, although to this day it is still legally W.
Mr. H still saw his high school sweetheart the whole time they were married, but he and ex mil had Shawn in 1969. A few months later, Mr H commited suicide. I don't know if this is before or after Mistress died but I do know that she left little kids of her own behind as well.
Within months, she met Papa Ice (who wasn't known as Papa Ice til Brit named him that when she was 2 but we're calling him that anyway.)
When the oldest of Ron's sisters was conceived, they got married. They had 4 girls between 1971 and 1973 and then he got fixed.
So, in 1982, Tabatha was born to the mother from hell and the most absent minded man on earth and she wasn't very well taken care of. They got married in 1983, then in about 1984 they signed over custody and parental rights to Papa Ice and ex mil, so that's how Tabatha's Grandma is her mom and Ron is her dad and her brother. (Oh you thought that was just incest? Nah, that's another section of the family that we suspect has something to do with Papa Ice. I'll explain Lynette another day.)
So in 1989, Tabatha's biological mom died, which made Ron officially single, since they never followed through on getting a divorce.
Then in 1992 or 1993 Papa Ice met Cindy and he and ex mil got divorced. Seeing as he raised Ron and Shawn and was the father of the girls, he's still their dad to them. However, Gramma Cindy is still a very nice woman and I've never had any complaints about her so she got the title of Gramma Cindy. Her and Papa Ice are technically no relation though.
ex mil never got remarried and sometimes gets a little weird about how Papa Ice will always be her husband no matter what, right down to having a picture of him on her wall, but oh well. Give an old woman her wishes, right?
There's Ron and you can read about his kids just about everyday so I won't go into that right now. We got divorced last year but I moved to Ohio so his kids could be closer to him, and because I needed to get away from my hometown.
Besides, although he did father them, I still think of myself as the primary parent and while these kids force me to be some relation to all of these people, my head tells me the kids are more my family than theirs.
There's Shawn who met his wife years ago and they had a abby but about 3 years after they got married, they're getting a divorce because she's living with another man. Neither of them has custody of their son but Shawn is.. was working on it. As far as I know, everything is still okay after his surgery. Thanks for the prayers.
Sister #1 has two kids by the same man, although they're not married. He had a daughter with his first wife so she's treated like another grandchild when it comes to holidays.
Sister #2 has one daughter by her ex-boyfriend (they were together at the time) and is pregnant by him again. ex mil lives with her in Wisconsin.
Sister #3 had a son in 1991, then hit her boyfriend in the head with a ceramic ash tray when she got tired of him beating her and they split up. (Having another woman didn't help the man out much because her son said "Mommy, daddy was kissing Lara")
So she has gone on to have 2 other kids with a second man and last I heard, she was pregnant again but she's had a lot of problems with miscarriage so I don't know if she's still pregnant.
Sister #4 has 3 kids, all by different dads but the youngest one's dad is her husband. He has a son from another marriage and that son is sister #4's oldest daughter's cousin because her real father is the little boy's mom's brother. From what I've heard, that son was conceived on a toilet that broke from all the action, during a party.
Now that you're read that far, maybe you understand it all and I can just mention them by initial or number as time goes on and I feel the need to mention them... although this is in-depth as I'm ever going to get because they're not my family and I only like less than half of them.
Also, you get a special treat. You get to read my family history! Yay, right? It's really great! It really is. Ya ready??
My mom and dad got married. They had me. They got divorced. My dad married someone else, meanwhile my mom had a boyfriend. My dad and stepmom had a boy, my brother Jonathan.
My mom's boyfriend died in a fire a month before Brittany was born, and my stepmom died in 1997. My dad got remarried about a year later. Ronald was born, then my dad died a few months later. Then my mom moved in with Darrell, and a couple years later, Kimberley was born.
Wow, a whole 2 paragraphs. Ha! If it wasn't for their family history I'd have no fucked up family history to write about.
The only reason I think I started in the first place was because I woke up at 6 am and had nothing better to do but if you made it to the end of this, thanks for reading.