That's a good feeling
10:48 p.m. x February 14, 2006
Sorry about my last entry. I'm better now. Have been since like an hour after I wrote it, actually. I just didn't have a way to come here to tell anyone. I could have gone to Jessica's to use her computer but I try not to be a user and since I haven't had the chance to be decent company to her lately, that would be wrong. I fell horrible that I haven't been over there but until last thursday, I was kinda scared to drive my car. I was like 6 weeks behind on the payments and the plates were suspended, plus it wobbled down the road. Turns out, the tire just had a knot on it that popped as I pulled into the parking lot to get my tax check. I don't know if that's good or bad luck because the day before that I had no money and I would have had to miss work and lose my job. So now I have a "new" car but between work, kids, and Louie, no time. I suck. I suck. I suck.
Maybe if I offer to drive so he doesn't complain about the proce of gas to get there, he'll go with me and then he can get a visit in too. I just might suggest that. If she'll forgive me for sucking.
So Thursday, after the tax check and fixing of the flat tire, I went to work and left early to go play with my tax money. I needed to get to a car lot so I could replace the beast but couldn't get anyone to pick up the last half of my shift. Damn premium hours (that's when they put up extra hours for $10 or $12 an hour because they're understaffed and desperate. Sounds good, but when you're trying to get a day off, it's hard to compete with something that pays 1 1/2 times what they'd make by working for me.) So I had to take a half an occurance. We're allowed 6 before we're fired and I already had 5. I knew I could ride that out and make it 30 days til I got it dropped off and got down to 4 1/2 occurances instead of 5 1/2. Then on Saturday, I moseyed (sp?) on into work and checked my schedule, only to find out that my dumb ass was supposed to be at work at 8, not 9. I waited, and waited, and waited some more for my supervisor, and went up to him toward the end of my shift. I simply said "I made a big booboo. I was supposed to be to work at 8. I thought it was 9. It puts me up to 6. I like my job. I want to keep my job. Is there anything you can do?" He said he'd see what he could do and when I got back to work on Monday, wondering if I was wasting the gas going in, I checked the computer and he excused that late. That means I got to keep my job. They normally won't do that unless it's the company's error. Then today I got called into the office and he said "Look, I know you know where you're at with attendance but I have to talk to you anyway. If we go with 5 1/2 occurances, you'll be at a step 3 (which means final warning to most people) but if I put you at a step 2 (written warning) then it'll come off in 60 days instead of 90 and you'll have a little room to move if one of the kids gets sick or something. Then you don't have to worry about your job." That was fucking awesome. He so did not have to do that and I didn't request that. Of course, if I didn't do a good job otherwise, he wouldn't have bothered. He did make a comment in there about me being a good employee. That meant a lot to me because that job can be a serious struggle sometimes. We'll save that rant for another day. To actually be good enough to keep when I intentionally or accidentally made the mistake myself is a huge deal. I had it all planned out as to how I was going to pay the bills ahead so I would have time to look for work and now I don't have to. All I have to do is remember when I start in the morning for 2 months. That should be easy. I'll have my year in mext month and I'll have paid again vacation so if I need a day off, I'll be able to take it without getting in trouble. Maybe I can get my attendance to a level where I can apply to get a promotion. Not that I'm sure I want one. The higher-ups have a higher chance of getting laid off. I'd at least like to have the option again. So, to my kids, don't breathe. It'll give you germs. And if you get them, don't breathe on me. To my car, behave. And to me, keep track of when you start work, dumbass.
Otherwise, things are okay. The kids are getting bigger and smarter like most kids do. Life is routine again and I'm finding that I like that. Anything less is too stressful. I have friends (even if I've been a shitty one in return), I have a home of my own (thanks to my mom), and I have all of life's neccessities. Even a little extra. AND, with the exception of the help from my mom when I desperately needed it, I did it all be myself. That's a good feeling.