Look at her go!
9:34 a.m. x 2003-06-05
I'm crampy today and feeling blech. My period isn't due for like 2 1/2 weeks, either. Ugh.
My kids aren't listening to me and they keep playing outside, which sucks because I refuse to take a shower when they're outside and I haven't taken one yet. I'm gonna go out there and embarrass them in front of their friends if I don't get a shower soon. I'll tell em Ronald poops his diaper at night or something. (he doesn't, by the way)
No, not really.. that'd be cruel.. but I want a shower.
Once I finally GET my shower, I'm going to go to the laundromat, then come home and clean my house for the fiftieth time this week.
I don't know if Joe is coming tonight or not. I'll find that out later, I guess. I can't have intercourse right now anyway so its not that it matters if I get that.. its just that he's confusing. One day he's talking about being with me forever and "Wehn we're married" (When pigs fly)... Then he doesn't show up for days at a time. I need to have a talk with that boy. He probably figures that he's not married now so he might as well enjoy himself, but in order for me to get serious with him, I'm going to need to have more than a few minutes a day on the phone, and I still won't get that serious. Last time he mentioned the M-word, I said "Talk to me in a year and I'll think about it." However, he has that male "I don't get it" hormone, so I don't think he caught it.
ITs not him personally. If I wanted to get married, he'd make a great husband. He's good with the kids, he's helpful, he's affectionate, and I feel comfortable with him in an exciting way (which I realize could change later). He really makes me feel good about myself when he's around and he does make me happy. If I was going to get married, I couldn't ask for better. I'm just not going to get married.
We'd all like the nice house and soccer mom thing, deep down, where there's total bliss and we could be a 50's sitcom. However, I know it isn't really like that, and I know things change when they have the paper. Nobody owns me, but me, and I don't want him to change. Besides, its only been 2 months. Give it some time, ya know?
My mind is made up, and I have a feeling his is too so I don't know where we're gonna go in the long run, but for now I can't get serious with someone if I don't see em more than a couple times a week. Not that he needs to be on my ass all the time either, but I think you get my drift.
At least he respects my decision of not wanting more kids, or at least waiting a lot of years for more. For that, I can't complain. I have other ideas for my ovaries at the moment, and he's cool with it. He thinks its the most awesome thing I could ever do, and when I told him I was thinking about picking it back up again, he looked at me like I was this... goddess or something. He's the first person in real life that hasn't doubted me or my ability to go through with it.
So anyway, I just went to give the manager $5 because she paid the guy that mowed my lawn, since I wasn't home when he did it. Apparently the kids around here (not mine. she's seen them and so have I.) are going through the mail house, taking mail, and last night they ripped the mailbox out. She had a cop out there and he can't do anything, and blah blah blah. Cops can't ever do anything, unless it involves being a pain in the ass, around here.
Long story short, she's telling the owner that its time to evict the old man that lives there, because there's 10 people living in the 2 bedroom, if not more, and the kids are destructive (I also told her that the one boy busted out Brittany's bedroom window, I'll pay for it, but it shows just how destructive they are, but I'll pay ofr it because he was in my house and its partially my fault for letting him in.) and when they're around, the other kids, including mine, pick up the same attitudes and destructiveness. She's ready to move out herself and if she does that, my ass is outtie. Its just like landstar and taking Robin out. Leave me with the deadbeats and I won't hang around. However, she's been saying she's tired of it for the last 10 years and she hasn't gone anywhere so I won't be either.
Anyway, I rambled on enough for a while, but I owed you all a lengthy update so we're even.